Chemo #4

Chemo #4

Yesterday, I had my 4th AC chemo. It sucked. They were 2+ hours behind so I was there from 8:30am til 3:30pm. I felt like I was going to heave or pass out after the chemo was done. I'm not sure what happened. I've never felt bad before. I was shaking. They gave me an Ativan after then I passed out in the car on the way home.

My Oncologist is leaving :( so I have a choice of reassignment or to continue with PA's. Issues discussed before my chemo. 

Not Taxol - Abraxane next

I was then told that because I have bad side effects from the steroids, they are not going to give me taxol but instead I will be given a chemo drug that is the same as taxol but it's in a different carrier that doesn't cause this allergic reaction that most people have so I don't have to take the steroids.  It's a more expensive drug, Abraxane and I was told that insurance companies don't approve it unless there is a good reason for it. Anyone else have this?

 L-glutamine

When I met with the PA I mentioned that I was going to add the l-glutamine to my list of what I would be taking. She said she was going to talk to the pharmacist about it. She came back and reported that there is no evidence that the l-glutamine helps in any way but I could still take it. 

Blue nails.

I also discussed the blue nails and nail pain. I asked about the icing with the PA and my OC yesterday. They both said that the icing does not work yet I see others mention their PA or OC telling them to do it. Any proven evidence? I am so confused.

Chemo #3

We're a third of the way there and this time there was excellent news. My Medical Oncologist palpated my breast and said she was unable to find a definitive mass to measure and that the tumor was now a "thickening".  She confirmed my hopes. I can still fell a thick like mass in there but it's squishier now and difficult to make a judgement because I am obsessively touching my breasts several times a day trying to see if there is a change. I was desperate for my Oncologist's back up and I got it.


The happiness I felt as this news washed over me in the way too hot examination room (These rooms are usually freezing) like a hot flash of joy. This news is so good for my prognosis. Response to chemo with triple negative is huge and though I still have a long way to go, this is a huge plus.

I want to thank each and everyone of you who sent me good vibes, kind words, committed to shrinking visualizations, prayers and all that. I truly believe that collective positive thinking no matter what the givers beliefs makes an enormess difference. It's all about intent. Thank you for that.



After the visit with my ocologist and reassuraces. We hopped down to the chemo center. Where we were told to except an hour to 2 hour wait, minimum. They still haven't managed to organize the waits time for chemo. We were lucky, we waited just over an hour.

I had a room with view

More deadly chemo drugs

We made it back in time to take the Tulip to her ice skating lesson which is a 4 generation event. I need to get some pics of all of there. Much thanks to my Grandmother of discovering this least to skate program as the Jamestown Savings Band Ice Arena. Tulip is loving it.

Family cancer History

There is now a sharable google document with detailed history of cancers for both sides of the family. This document was created as a resource in preparation for genetic consultation I received at Rosewell on 10/11/2012. I spent some time working on it and interviewing many family members but I could use more detailed info. If anyone in the family has need for this information or would like to review it please contact me directly.

I also put quite a bit of time into creating and updating family history on Geni.com as a resource for the family. If you should ever need it, it's there and please add to it.

Shaving my head

Even with the buzz, my hair continued to fall out. I was using a sticky lint brush to take up the hairs that were falling out as was a recommended tip I'd found on one of the sites for people going through chemo. It worked for a while but then it was too much missing hair. The patchy bald spots were not me and I knew the day had come to shave it all off. 

I'd read about many methods for shaving it off but when the time came. I did it with a hot wash cloth, regular double edged ladies leg shaver and some more shaving cream I borrowed from my dad. When that ran out, and I couldn't see the back of my head any longer, Al happened to be there for once. He helped finish the back with his shaving cream while I sat on the edge of the bath tub worrying that he was going to cut me, gouge me or make me bleed. Horror stories of people having razor burn, skin rashes, cuts and all sorts of goriness after chemo head shaving had me on edge. Luckily, we made it. We did get some aloe vera gel which seemed to work and I continue to apply that.

cute?

sexy?

I can work this.

I saw the wood chuck

It was raining today, pretty hard. I had on my big black muck boots, the sexy ones that give me blisters on my heels if I walk too far or don't wear the right socks. Those big boots allow me to walk over the graves in the cemetery, up through the hills that no one else seems to go. It's more rugged walking but easier on the body, off the beaten trail. That's where I've seen the holes in the ground, the unearthings and excavations of the some creature. 

Today, I finally met the woodchuck that lives amongst the tombstones. I was almost on top of him today before we noticed each other and we had the moment of, "What?! Who are you?!?!" His fat little brown wood chuck body, dashed away pretty quickly and he dove into a hole. So much for making a friend in the grave yard. We have time, I'll see him again. 

The ravens and the squirrels don't flee from me any more, they know my intentions hold no ill will with them. They used to scream, cackle and scold me, tell all their friends I was coming. It would seem they didn't tell the woodchuck today because I almost stepped on him before he noticed me.

And the cancer? That right breast of mine gets felt up day and night to see if it's growing smaller. I can't be sure. I want to say it is but I don't know. It seems a little softer, a bit smaller. Such a huge lump still there.