Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Pneumonia - Hospital Stay #2 - leaving Jamestown, NY

Writing this post discharge, it's 6am and I can't sleep so time to get this down.

Things went from bad to worse and I ended up admitted to the Roswell hospital on Wednesday, November 22nd with pneumonia in both lungs, the day I would have received Chemo #6.

Friday, November 16th - I am given the MRI that I begged for and a lung x-ray because I was was having coughing fits and trouble breathing as in air hunger.
WBC (white blood count) - 72k

Sat & Sun, Nov 17 & 18th - very rough days with the breathing. I couldn't make it to the bathroom with out being exhausted and out of breath. We go to the mall with me in a wheel chair so I can get the Tulip little high heel shoes, her first pair of dangly earrings and a backing for the quilt she is making with her Auntie.  The shoes & earrings were likely not the best parenting choices. In my weakness, I wanted to see her happy so I caved on the requests that gone on for weeks.

Monday, Nov 19th - I called because I'd been so ill over the weekend. They asked me to rush in because of what the x-rays showed, citing I may have a pulmonary embolism (blot clots) in my lungs. They couldn't have noted this on Friday when the x-ray was taken along with that 73K + WBC count? WTF. We drive in and I am given a CT scan. Results show no blood clots in my legs or chest but both my lungs have pneumonia. They change my antibiotic and send me home with oxygen. I have to have oxygen 24/7.

Wednesday, Nov 21th - I called because I was not better, not even minutely. I call twice, 3 times because they don't call back.  Eventually, they call back and tell me to comein but hurry because they are going to admit me. We are over an hour and a half away. They know this. Why wait so long? We pack for a hospital stay AGAIN and rush in. I should publish a list of what to bring to the hospital.

I'm admitted. There are a lot of doctors coming to see me. I like the infectious disease doctors, They seem to have it together and are concerned. They are switching up my antibiotics with intravenous, stronger antibiotics and I will be given more than one.

Hooked up to a machine, I am intravenously via my port pumped with lots of antibiotics. I was too sick to get the names of all of them but it couldn't have been good. I'll follow up on that, it'll be good info to know. There are breathing/pulmonary specialists who visit me everyday. I start to feel a little better.

It's rough. They switch my room. I was a roommate for a few hours, they move me again. I do yoga breathing exercises, I cough up phlegm. They are unable to diagnose what type of pneumonia I have. They never did test that excellent phlegm ball I coughed up and was saving for them on the counter in the designated container.

The DH stayed in Hope Lodge an excellent group home for people with family staying at Rosewell. It was free for him to stay there. Unlike my oncologist had told me was completely impossible.

Thursday, November 29th - I am discharged. They tell me the lung crackling is gone. I am given an oral prescription for an antibiotic, Cipro and not much else or any advice on recovery.

Friday, Nov 30th. I walk 3 miles, it's tough, I get very cold while walking. I am determined to pack & leave when we get back. I set up an appointment with an oncologist in NYC in the same facility as the surgeon I have an appointment with.

I call the BC center at Roswell for support for ongoing treatment recommendations, I get nothing. I cancel my future appointments with the center & Dr Edge, completely frustrated by what has happened to me.

We call the school in Brooklyn to see if they will still take the Tulip as they said. We get good news, they will. We're leaving.

On Friday, after the Tulip gets out of school, we pack and head out.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

The walk, the show

I did my walk today, all 3.5 plus miles. It took me twice as long as usual. It was not easy but I think it helped the leg pain. I got so cold. I couldn't move as fast to keep my body temp up. I'm so slow and weak. The pain isn't as bad today.

Last night, I watched The Parents show that friends recommended to me because one of the leads is going through breast cancer. I'm enjoying watching the show and texting with my friend each week through the show although it's been delayed because of the debates and the election.

There were moments on the show that made me physically cringe. When the leading lady heads into a chemo center for treatment, I could feel my whole body recoil, they even had the sound of the drip machine. The spouse of this women goes out drinking with what I think is his brother and makes comments about how women that go through chemo are "ghosts" and how scared he is. That remake was so hard to hear because I don't want to be a ghost and I don't want my anyone fighting the disease to be thought of as a ghost. It's a show I know but still it upset me. The steamy sex parts were much better. The point of me watching is that friends are remarking that the show portrays a more authentic experience of breast cancer. So I watch.

Hospital

First, the good news. For the first time since I gave birth to my daughter I am thin enough to wrench my wedding & engagement rings off my finger. This has been a goal of mine for so long. I discovered this when I was being wheeled to get a chest x-ray, just in case.

Bad news is that I had to get sick enough to wind up in the hospital to do it.

Discharged

I was discharged yesterday. There are so many medications I have to take now. The insurance company refused one I really need. It helped me so much with the reflux that was burning my throat and esophagus. I'm going to rant about insurance companies later.  It'll take 10 blog posts to get it out. The won't let me have that but okayed some hard core pain reliever that some idiot women tried to high five me about that was standing behind me in line.

Attempts high five, "What'd you do to score the <name of drug edited>?"she asked me wide eyed and excited.

"I have cancer and I'm in a lot of pain." What else was I going to say? I locked the doors when I got back to the van worried she and her friend were going to rob me. Paranoid much?

It was snowing lightly when I came home. All the freak 60 degrees days in mid November I spent in the hospital. They wouldn't let me out side but I found I could open all the windows about 6 inches which was enough to feel the warm air and let the leaves blow inside from the wind tunnel next to my room. There was a dead bird out there decaying. It was something to look at besides brick walls.

Tulip wrote me a note that she left on the table hoping I was picking her up from school. I did. It was grand. Normality like that makes me so happy these days.




Tuesday, November 13, 2012

WCA Hospital

This didn't turn out the way I hoped. I'd been so sick after the chemo and previously with constant coughing, sinus, reflux. etc.  I'd had an ongoing fever. I work up on Saturday and decided it was "strange enough" to still be running a temp that I would go to an urgent care center as Roswell advised. My throat hurt so damn much all I wanted a culture of my throat and make sure I didn't have strep.

So my mom takes me to the downtown Jamestown area called "Brooklyn Square" if you can believe it. I go in and pay my $30 co-pay. They do my vitals and let me promptly know they can not help me and with a fever as I am a chemo patient. They tell me I need to be at the hospital. They make me sign some papers about all the dangers of getting to the hospital if I don't use a ambulance, like traffic. ~sigh~

We go and get a humidifier before we go to the hospital. The plan had been to go to the mall to buy Tulip some shoes and me bra that will fit my changing body but no, I go to the hospital instead dreading the huge co-pay. I did call Rosewell first and the doctor I spoke to there wondered why the nurse had recommended I be sent to a urgent care center when what I needed to go to was the hospital. She told me to go directly to the hospital and how important it was, lectured me a bit which I needed because I was still hearing the "oh it's just the neulasta shot, take tylenol.

They checked me in to ER pretty quickly and took some blood through my port eventually. They had some trouble accessing the port but they did it eventually. I felt proud of them when the did. Ports aren't often seen here but they are a new trend so I guess I was a bit of a guinea pig.

Results of the blood draw came back....OMG 37000+ white blood cell count! The ER doctor has a face is serious and says that is alarmingly high and likely infection. The neulasta shots also make for a high white blood cell count my mother and I tell him but he thinks not that high. I just want my throat checked! Why will no one look at my throat and culture it? (Eventually they do) I give the ER doctor the number for Rosewell, he calls and confers with a doctor there. They agree I need to be admitted.

It the middle of my admission to the hospital, right after Tulip shows up to say good night to me. They announce a code C is coming, 2 minutes away, one minute into my room and whisk my kid out.....bye. Then I get wheeled out in the bed by the cutest nurse ever and up to my room new room.

SO here I am, it's getting late...maybe 9pm? I haven't eaten but yogurt today and I would like something to eat. There were busy, there were codes and I had to answer a lot of questions to many people. Eventually I got a tuna sandwich and went to bed.

Friday, November 9, 2012

My Oncologist Left and I am not getting the support I need

My Oncologist left Rosewell. I'm not happy about it. I was given a choice of a male or female doctor or told I could just stick with the PA's for the duration of my chemo. The female did keep the same days as mine did so I wouldn't need to switch.

I actually heard this rumor that my oncologist was leaving from an elderly lady in the waiting room and when I asked her further she pressed her finger to her lips and said it was likely a secret.

My oncologist sent me a letter but it went to the wrong address, my home address. I've told the folks at Rosewell repeatedly to send my mail to my parent's but it keeps not happening.

Chemo#4 was so hard on me, I've been so sick. I was looking for support & sent the note.

I've been sick with a cold for over four weeks and had severe laryngitis last week. I tried email but apparently now that my oncologist left, no one else finds email an acceptable form of communication so I was basically ignored.

This is what I sent:

I hope you can help me. I can't call, laryngitis. I need emails for further contact care. I was never given emails of new contacts. thank you.

see note I am trying to send:

I need more support. I am not doing well. The last chemo wrecked me. I didn’t get a card for the PA that met with me and I no longer have an oncologist as she left and I have no new contact info for help. 

Respiratory Issues/Laryngitis
I’ve had a cold for over four (4) weeks. I cough all the time. I have severe laryngitis for the second time. My throat feels like there is a rubber ring in the back of it. My throat wasn’t even looked at the last time I was in after I said I’d been sick and had laryngitis. I do not have a fever.

Insurance refusal for mouth sore meds
I have more sores in my mouth. My insurance drug provider wouldn’t cover the prescription for the mouthwash unless they get a note from the doctor stating it’s a medical necessity.

Constipation, hemorrhoids, bleeding
I have very bad constipation and now have anal bleeding. I tried a stool softener, eating apricots & prunes, not working.

Reflux
I am having very bad reflux and don’t know what is causing it. I tried Pepcid, not working. I’ve heard Ranitidine helps with this.

Cold Sores
My lips are swollen and I think I am going to get a cold sore.

Sleeping
I continue to have sleep issues, mostly I believe because of the hot flashes and wonder why I was not prescribed Ambien CR - a time released sleeping pill that aids many that have the hot flashes during chemo like I do that wake them up.

Steroids
The first two nights after chemo, I had maybe one (1) hour sleep from 6am to 7am even with 2 ativan at 10pm and 1 ambien at 5am so I did not take the steroids the last day. I finally slept. I am so glad I don’t have to take those any more on this next four doses of chemo.

Glutamine
The PA I met with whose never I can’t even remember because I am so sick told me that Glutamine has no proven effectiveness for neuropathy, yet I found these studies.

Reduction of Paclitaxel-induced Peripheral Neuropathy with Glutamine

Oral glutamine is effective for preventing oxaliplatin-induced neuropathy in colorectal cancer patients.


Oral glutamine is effective for preventing oxaliplatin-induced neuropathy in colorectal cancer patients.


Again, I could use some help. I am displaced. I have no doctors where I am (Jamestown, NY) to call for an appointment. All my doctors are in NYC. I was counting on my oncologist for help.

Rosewell's website is difficult to navigate. I can't find emails for anyone else I might contact and I can't call. I have laryngitis.

xxxxx Real Name & ID removed

PS I finally found Dr O'connor's info on another website not Roswell's. I hope it works. I'ved added a few more hoping this gets through to someone

Aftermath of Chemo 5

*TMI alert*


I woke up with a fever this morning. I missed taking my kid to school for the first time and I missed my walk. I'm trying to get through this.


I thought the last one was bad but this is worse. I feel like someone kicked me in the vagina. This chemo is supposed to have cause neuropathy and it damn well better not cause neuropathy of my vagina. Am I going to get a friggin period? so much pelvic pain, I've never had this.

I've been running a fever (100-101.9) between doses of off brand tylenol and have sharp pains and aches everywhere, dry mouth, still coughing, dry mouth, sore throat, clogged sinuses and my ear hurts.  I thought maybe I had the flu but now after doing more research on the side effects of this new chemo, Abraxane, I am convinced it's from that.

Yes, I called Roswell Cancer Center and was told to take the tylenol unless something "strange" happened. Strange like what? Anything strange and I should go to an urgent care center. They didn't even know that diarrhea was a side effect right after administration of Abraxane. I'm finding out otherwise on the interwebs and yet I am told I shouldn't give too much credence to what I read on the internet. I don't believe I am getting the support and assistance I need from Rosewell since my oncologist left. I'll write about that more else where.  So what is strange? All this is strange to me.

I know I am bitching. It could be worse, I could be having this along with all the side effects of the steroids that I would have been given if I had the taxol. That would make me evil and the darkness would surely come back.

Anyway, I feel horrible. My kid laughed at me for still being in my pajama's when she came home from school. Geez, first time that has happened through all this and maybe ever. Mama gets dressed every morning but not this morning. The PJ's are Betsy Johnson! I look cute.They are worth wearing all day.

Good things I did
-neti potted
-plenty of fluids including gatorade mix & ginger with pomegranate juice
-ate grass feed yogurt
-decent lunch
-skipping dinner feel to blech
-I added some l-glutamine to my water
-lots of research on my condition
-worked on my blog

I can't spell for shit, chemo brain is taking hold. I need a spelling test every week like my daughter, all these new cancer related words I can't keep straight.


Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Chemo #5

Chemo #5
This was supposed to be easy by all accounts. No more steroids! No more red death! I was getting the good stuff. Just one drip bag, fast and easy. No more meds. It started out good. It was less than an hour before my little buzzer rang to call me for my turn for chemo, a miracle compared to the over 2 almost 3 hour wait I'd had for Chemo #4 and 2 hours for Chemo #3.

Abraxane instead of Taxol this time. Abraxane I am told is a better choice for me then taxol, although they are essentially the same chemo drug but Abraxane uses a different solvent that does not cause the severe allergic reactions or side effects that the taxol does. They'll be a rant about this and insurance companies elsewhere.

The nurse hooked me up to the drip with my port and all is well. Drip, drip, drip. I'm drinking my water as I am supposed to. I've been sick with this nasty cough for a long ass time, 4 weeks so I coughing and hacking over dosing on Ricola cough drops as they're the only thing that helps. I'm reading my novel, eating a few high protein Newman's pretzels and thinking about going to get some food afterwards, in the time in between my appointment with the genetic counselor to go over my BRAC results. Yeah. The drip is done, the nurse comes in and unhooks me and I start coughing, coughing hard and BLLLLEEEEECHHH!!! Vomiting! Luckily, I am isolated (not sure why) and I have my own bathroom or it would have been all over the floor. I puke in the sink. I puke in toilet. I puke again and again and again. God...awful. Nurse comes in and checks on my meds. Yes upstairs when I saw a PA (no more oncologist for me), they gave me a prescription for something for the coughing but I won't be able to fill it til I get home which is hours away. I recover from the coughing and vomiting, drink a small cup of cool water real slow and make my way up to my appointment in genetics skipping lunch. I have no desire to eat after all that heaving. The appointment goes well. They check my cafe au lait spots, measuring and counting as well as checking other possible signs for neurofibromatosis which runs in one branch of my family. They decide that further testing is unnecessary as I don't exhibit enough signs to warrant it.

We make our way downstairs to leave and I have to pick up my appointment sheet for next time and oh no!...upset stomach. I run to the bathroom. Yes, massive diarrhea. I keeping trying to get out but no. Repeat x 6. wtf. How am I going to make it home? I call upstairs to the breast clinic and tell them what is going on. They have be come up and give me two anti-diarrhea pills.

Finally, we make it to the car and I pass out. My mother said I didn't even wake up for the gas or tool stop.

Run over by a truck feeling when we get back to the house. I go to bed at 9pm.

In the morning, I think I may have to miss taking my daughter to school and my walk. I do it anyway. I get home and feel beyond hot flash hot. I take my temp. 101.9. damn it. I call Rosewell. They say they'll call back. I wait. They tell me my white blood count is decent so I need to take tylenol. My mother gives me some knock off. I'm too sick to go to my kid's violin lesson that night. I don't know if the fever is from the chemo or I have a bug. Folks at Rosewell are not helpful. If any thing strange or different happens go to an urgent care center is what I am told. They're not around but for 9-5 basically M-F.




Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Staging


Staging

The staging of the cancer, 2B, is a clinical staging (based on imaging). This is not as precise as pathological (surgical) staging. Due to the large size of my tumor (6cm+) it was recommended that I receive neoadjuvant chemotherapy. This means that chemotherapy is administered before surgery. When surgery is performed before chemo, they are able to test the tumor and the nodes microscopically to see if there is involvement and thus stage the cancer more accurately.

From all the tests I have been given, it appears the cancer has not spread (metastasized). I have nodes that are reactive, meaning that they are enlarged and responding to the cancer.

When I went for that first mammogram and ultrasound, the technician and doctor she called in made note of the enlarged lymph nodes. When I came back two days later for the biopsy, one of these nodes (the largest) was biopsied. It tested negative for cancer.

The two (2) simply means it has advanced locally.